I love the crawl of the city, especially on a sleepy Sunday mornings, where the traffic groans along with the old buildings, and the millenials and professionals and whatever-als nativgate a space that belongs to everyone and no one in particular.
I love the bridges that cross the Liffey, uniting and dividing, and the trees that line the quays with their roots pushing through to be noticed. I love the early morning runners and the late home stumblers and the bikers wobbling and weaving in and out of harms way.
I love the red bricks and the glaring windows, the Georgian doors and the cobblestones, the tiny lanes and widest street in Europe (supposedly, once upon a time). The greys and the greens, the silvers and the odd sliver of sun that shines through.
Take me away to climb the mountains and stroll along beaches or through carpeted woods. Take me away, again and again, so I can come back as I’m a city girl who loves wandering these streets.
And while we’d lay beside each other again, many more nights over many years, I never felt seen by him again. Yet he looked at me- he watched me- naked and splayed,vulnerable and crying; drunk and high, living and dying.
And all she had left to give in that moment were her tears.
Tell me what your fears are
and I’ll bury them with me.
I read that we are not afraid of love but afraid of not being loved back.
I’m afraid that with each passing year, I have become hard of heart yet I want to be soft. I want to be as soft as the flesh thats pads my sturdy bones. As soft as my eyes when they swell with tears. I want my heart to be sculpted by hands that could melt metal and break wood.
I want to be reminded that the love I give is not shameful. It is a gift.
It was beginning
To be my year.
I felt movement,
Felt like myself again,
Whoever that is.
I liked it. Her.
But then the clock
And something changed.
I lost my footsteps
In the snow.
I’ve barely slept since.
And the nooks,
To be loved.
A lovely friend of mine asked me to write a piece for her therapy business website. So I did! It’s about eschewing New Years Resolutions for breaking your goals down into smaller steps.