It’s only when I sit in silence and look inwards that I find my quiet confidence that still unsettles me. In light of the previous night’s events, I would normally be consumed by hurt and flooded by tears, and hear that voice telling me it’s my fault or that I’m not good enough. But the tears don’t come, and while I feel hurt, I don’t feel wounded. I don’t hear those voices that tormented me for too long. I no longer feel at war with myself, and I know that I’ve moved further into a place of self-love and acceptance. The place where making decisions comes easier as I know I’m choosing the right thing for me. I can do this without blaming, criticising, hurting myself or himself, without fear or what if’s or I should have’s or could have’s. I simply say I know I deserve to be treated with more respect, and if he can’t step up to it, then I simply step aside. Disappointed, yes, but I am not broken or burdened by my decision.
Nothing wrong can feel this right; everything shows up in the full moon’s light.